Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bleak Start to the New Year

I have not posted in a long time.  Why?  I keep waiting for good news to report so I can keep Jewel Box® upbeat and fun.  So far, 2012 has been bleak.
  •  Two contracts have been written on my mother-in-law's house and both have fallen through at inspection.  
  • My youngest son has told us, "why should I work hard in school or even go to college?  That has not worked out so well for you and Dad. What is the point? You are middle-aged and  miserable. Why would I want that? NO THANKS!  I'm going to do whatever I want and be happy.  
  • My husband has now been unemployed for 3 years and 5 months.  No prospects in sight. 
  • We don't have money to pay the mortgage this month or my oldest son's last semester of tuition. 
And that is the state of the Jewel Box® Home on Sunday, January 15, 2012.  In our house, the American Dream is Officially dead.  I'll leave you with a poem I wrote over the last week:


Beautiful flawed children,
harnessed to the mistakes of their parents.
Strong broken women weeping in the shadows.
Broad-backed idle men searching with vacant eyes.
Thinking, whispering, but we did the right thing,
we followed the rules...

 Genevieve

31 comments:

Daryl at Vermont Cottage said...

Oh my, Genevieve. This is so sad. My heart really does go out to you. Will your oldest take a break from school or take out a loan? As for your youngest, kids say things. I wouldn't put too much stock in his feelings as of today. He's right to a point: we should all do what makes us happy. Including you! What would make you happy right now? Sometimes a chance to not think about the present can help us envision a better future.

laney said...

...dear friend look for my email...love laney

laney said...

...dear friend look for my email...love laney

Abby said...

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. "
~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

I will be praying for you.

Abby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Simply Me said...

Genevieve, I'm sorry things are so sad for you! I agree with Daryl at Vermont Cottage in that you can't always take what kids say to heart. I don't know the details about your oldest child, but internships, working at the ground level in his chosen field or working combined with a small loan might be options.

I'm sure you have thought through all these things and have done all that can be done. I can only pray for peace for you and your family. Your blog is an inspiration to me and helped me to make the decision to downsize into our smaller home. I wish happiness for you.

Darlene said...

Hmmm...what to say to you...

1) Life just sucks sometimes!
I have been where you are and it is miserable! But as all things,it passes.Life WILL get better!

2) Kids manage to know what to say to really hit us when we are vulnerable! Let it go and let him find his own way.We can't live their lives for them.He will be alright and you HAVE taught him the basics.They find their own ways and it will be okay!

3) As much as you want this to be a place of "happy and upbeat"...that just isn't life.Life is messy!! I would rather you tell me how you coped when your world was falling apart,so that when mine did I would have some hope,rather than "sunshine and rainbows" when I was falling into an abyss."Real" is so much better than forced "happy"!

4) Give yourself credit for what you HAVE done and give yourself a break! Give yourself some time to heal and get stronger.You WILL get through this,(even tho there are times you want to just fall off the face of the earth!).You ARE loved!

Anne said...

I am sorry that your family has this to endure. I will pray for you. It's possible that your son has made his statement because he may feel this will take the pressure off you regarding the expense of college. Kids are funny that way! Check out Dave Ramesy's Financial Peace University - it may help you and your husband to redefine jobs skills opportunities. Keep your chin up, God can take any thing bad and turn it for the good!!! You are an inspiration and your have helped me create a home in our small abode, I know if we ever lost this house- with the skills you have taught me-- I can turn an apartment or anything into a home cozy and full of what really matters the people I love! Thank you for your insight into what makes a home not a house!!!!!! Chin up -- hold tight to your family they are all that really matter. Things come and go-- You have each other hold tight and give it to God!!!!

Anne said...

I am sorry that your family has this to endure. I will pray for you. It's possible that your son has made his statement because he may feel this will take the pressure off you regarding the expense of college. Kids are funny that way! Check out Dave Ramesy's Financial Peace University - it may help you and your husband to redefine jobs skills opportunities. Keep your chin up, God can take any thing bad and turn it for the good!!! You are an inspiration and your have helped me create a home in our small abode, I know if we ever lost this house- with the skills you have taught me-- I can turn an apartment or anything into a home cozy and full of what really matters the people I love! Thank you for your insight into what makes a home not a house!!!!!! Chin up -- hold tight to your family they are all that really matter. Things come and go-- You have each other hold tight and give it to God!!!!

Linz said...

Oh dear, I am so sorry. I know this may not be much of a comfort, but a little over a year ago, I was near to death with misery. It was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other, and I felt like I was barely surviving. Hope was such a far-off luxurious dream that it seemed unreachable, if not impossible. By the grace of God, I was pulled out of it, and all because I looked outside my usual comfort zones or boxes, actually made the move to a new city, and gave myself a chance to live. So, perhaps, looking beyond and outside what you would've considered before, even something as huge yet simple as moving to another state, may present you with hope and a better opportunity... Best of luck...

Christian Homekeeper said...

Genevieve,
I'm so glad you posted about what is going on in your life. You haven't failed here at Jewel Box Home, you've endeared yourself to all your readers. Because of your transparency with us, we feel we know you better and that you're a real woman with real struggles... just like us. And it makes me want to hear what else you have to say.
I don't know if you believe... but Genevieve, my dear, I am praying like mad for you today.

Comeca Jones said...

I will just pray that relief for you and your family comes soon.

luciahames said...

Dear Genevieve: All of this that is happening to you is not your problem. Crazy, huh? I have no idea what your spiritual life is about, but I find that when I am up against all awful things, I just pack them up in a sack and send them on to the Good Lord. Try it, it works. And God bless you and yours.

Judy said...

Oh Genevieve... I relate back to some hard times in my life. Writing was a good therapy for me! Keep that up. I recommend a gratitude journal too. Focusing on WHAT you DO HAVE can help lift your spirit. Know that your spirit and soul are growing and learning lessons you need to evolve.
Let yourself feel the pain and learn from it!

Judy said...

http://onesmalldailypeaceofart.blogspot.com/2012/01/spiral-peace.html

This is a special PEACE HUG I made for you today!

Face the pain, then turn and focus on the JOY in your life.

Heather said...

Hi, my name is Heather! Please email me when you can, I have a question about your blog!

HeatherVonSJ[at]gmail[dot]com

Sarah said...

I'll be praying for you and your family. It take tremendous strength to put yourself out there like you have with this post. You certainly are not alone!
Sarah

Judy said...

Send me your address (jsebern@aol.com) and I'll mail some special Peace to you!

AndeM1 said...

I am thinking of you and your family and praying for things to turn around. I so enjoy seeing how you have downsized and have found such inspiration from you....I hope that you can feel the good thoughts and wishes that I am sending your way.

Anonymous said...

Genevieve,
Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency, that takes great courage. I agree with what has been said about your youngest son, he will be ok and will grow from your families struggles. The same is true for your older son, as well. I will be praying for your family, and for you especially.

joyce said...

Genevieve, I am so sorry you and your family are going through such a difficult time. Just know that this season will pass. Things will not always be so grim.

Your youngest son may feel now that he doesn't need an education, but I all but guarantee you that will change. It may take awhile, but when the time is right, he'll get back to school. It's just where he is right now. It's not his life's mantra.

I will say a special prayer for you and your family. Keep your chin up, and even when things look their absolute worst, fortify your spirits with an uplifting poem, song, story, or scripture.

Anonymous said...

Dear Genevieve,

Please continue posting on a regular basis....both good and bad. We want to share your troubles and lift you up like you shared your inspirations with us! I really enjoy and look forward to your blog...the pictures and many ideas were wonderful!

Your friend,
Lynda

Anonymous said...

Please keep the faith as difficult as it may seem. We played by the rules. We did everything right. We still lost our home to foreclosure. We have three kids (9, 7.5, 2.5) and we are slowly rebuilding ourselves. While it isn't easy, every day does get better. I found your blog when I realized that we want to live a simpler, downsized life that focuses on living not working and consuming.

I wish I could say something to put things into a better perspective. Kids need to be able to say how they feel. Truth be told, as others here said, there are very many different paths (career, vocational, educational, volunteerism) that can lead to happiness outside of the traditional "tried and true."

Please keep blogging! Peace to you and your family.~ Gabrielle

Susanne said...

Oh my. I'm a bit embarassed, as I am so excited to have been directed to your lovely blog by Melissa at The Inspired Room. Then I read your latest post. I have been feeling alot of discontentment not being able to redecorate the 750 sq ft home that I have been living in with my "beloved" for over a year. It's a hodge podge of 1970's dorm room, complete with plastic outdoor furniture serving end tables 9in the living room. I won't even discuss the attic and cellar..ugh..more on the To Do list. We're middle aged and I am currently unemployed, but we are able to pay our bills. I have recently been feeling very sorry for myself,comparing our home to that of family and friends. I firmly believe there was a reason that I was guided to your site, Genevieve. I don't have any advice, but you and your family are in my prayers.

michelle starling said...

Genevieve, this is the first time I've been to your blog and I have to tell you, honesty and transparency is encouraging. Thanks for sharing. I have to say that I relate all too well to what your living right now. My hausband is employed now but making far less money than before and we're barely hanging on at times. We can't sell our home and we really can't afford it either. It can be very frustrating. There have been times where I felt as if I could not endure another minute let alone another day. But here I am, still hanging on. Things are slowly improving for us and things will improve for you as well. It just doesn't happen as fast as we would like. I wish I could encourage you with more than I understand or I'm in this boat with you. I know that there are days where it's hard to have hope but, without hope life is unbearable. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Mrs.B said...

I wonder if you still check this...
I am just now reading this. Usually I just see that it's been a while, so I don't click to read...but for some reason, I did today.

I very much understand you last post...and I will just say what I have been told and what does seem to be true, though DIFFICULT at times.

"This too shall pass."

Praying for you...and I really do understand.

Anonymous said...

Genevieve- I am so sorry to read your post, and I hope that things are better for you and your family as of February 2012. I am a working mom in a blended family of 5 kids, and I get on your blog every couple of months. I keep thinking about downsizing from our too big home, and your work is such an inspiration! What you have done matters so much. I just wanted to say 'Thank you' and let you know that things will get better!

Julie in Kentucky

Cyndi @ The Decorating Chica said...

I'm sorry you and your family are struggling. There are many, many people I know who are struggling with life right now. It is hard but God is good! I pray that things will look up for you. You have an amazing talent!!

Stair Chair Lift said...

I agree with Daryl at Vermont Cottage in that you can't always take what kids say to heart.
Thanks




Stair Chair Lift

Gayle said...

Genevieve, don't give up. Could you perhaps take in a room mate or two to help make your mortgage payment? Have you applied for a mortgage modification? Does your state/county have a mortgage assistance program for folks on unemployment? Keep researching and working on options; my thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

I've enjoyed your blog for years, always appreciating your graciousness and humor.

Last year a close friend of mine lost the little house she had lived in for years. She said it was almost like the death of a loved one because she had put so much of her heart and soul into her cottage.

I wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but all I can say is that I think of you often and hope your situation soon improves.

Crystal